Something stinks about the way manufacturers are bombarding us with household odor eliminators and “refreshers.”

Whatever happened to odors? It seems that more and more of them are being masked by new odors that come in cans, candles, night lights, patches or anything that might be attached to a toilet, kitchen counter or slathered on a human body.


Do I like offensive odors? Absolutely not. I don’t want to be around someone who smells like they bathed in a pig sty or be in surroundings that reek of pollution.


But we’ve gone a long way past just disguising foul odors. Now we’re trying to remove anything that might smell as if it is an offshoot of being human.


Yes, I use deodorant, but I get the unscented kind. The other day when I was applying some, an odor emanated from my armpit that almost put me in a coma. I looked at the container and saw that it was scented and the scent was called rainwater.


Now I personally have never smelled rainwater that made me gag. I looked at the list of ingredients and there were enough to build a nuclear facility. There was also a warning to ask your doctor before you used it in case you have a kidney disease. How ominous is that?


So now you’ve removed the odor of sweat, but you can’t urinate. There are hundreds of mouthwashes. There used to be a couple; now they have multiplied and are capable of removing hidden germs and decreasing cardiovascular, and soon they’ll be capable of growing new teeth.


Household odor eliminators and “refreshers” are fast becoming an everyday necessity. God forbid someone walks into your home and detects the smell of bacon, pot roast or chicken. You need to cover it up with something that is marked as being almost spiritual.


One of the companies touts their product as being inspirational. Frankly I’m much more inspired by garlic and onions sautéing then something that reminds me of the contents of my grandmother’s old pocketbook.


Bathrooms seem to get the really extreme end of odor removers.


God forbid you detect the fact that someone used the toilet. Wouldn’t something like some fresh rosemary, lavender or sliced lemons do the trick rather than a product that is fake and could end up being harmful to your lungs?


Unfortunately, I think for the most part the American public has been seduced into believing that substituting a fake smell to replace the real thing is easier and more in tune with today’s way of life.


There’s only one thing wrong with that thinking. Real smells can’t compromise your health, but fake ones just might.


Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth, Mass. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth, MA 02360, send email to getalife@lorettalaroche.com, visit the website at www.stressed.com, or call toll-free 800-998-2324.