1. In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
2. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy CremeDonuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
3. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
4. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side . And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
5. God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake" and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
6. God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
7. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds .
8. God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super-size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
9. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
10. Then Satan created Cuts to the Health Care System. Amen
That refreshing change of pace is from a College Classmate who’s nom de plume is Correspondent Pat, healthy readers.
A-E was an Army draftee during the Vietnam era who took his service seriously. Two of his heroes are his father-in-law who volunteered for the draft as the Korean War began and lost a lung but won the Purple Heart in that action. After almost a decade as an enlisted man (and an E-9’s stripes), he decided to become an officer and subsequently earned two bronze stars and several other honors for his service.
An Army general said of him to Veterans Administration staff during his final months: “That man’s a hero, take good care of him.”
Another of A-E’s military heroes passed away last month amid scurrilous disregard for what he did in war and as a long-time legislator.
A-E is certain the local lack of action was an oversight, but as this is being written, the American flag in front of the building housing the veterans’ organization in A-E’s adopted home town remains at full staff.
A-E, who is touchy about ignoring those who dedicated years to the military and civilian service of our country, writes his weekly column in his Canisteo home where the American flag that was part of our country’s salute to his wife’s dad, is honored. A-E displays less prominently a certificate of achievement for his own Army service.