Remember ice pillars that spilled out of crevices along the southbound lane just north of Canisteo each winter? The boulders wept and froze to form those thick posts during January cold weather. In previous years, the sturdy formations were around until Stanley Cup playoffs in June. Now the thick walls have become unpredictable weather forecasters. Warm April temperatures melted those pillars so early there were barely enough ice cubes to chill a glass of your favorite soda or, if your tastes run to something livelier, a mint julep or the traditional Yankee favorite, bourbon and water come late March.
Is greater Jasper being attacked meteorologically with global warming? What about that chilly spell in early June? The Greater Jasper Chamber is working to develop a horse racing season in early April. Sounds like an attractive idea, unless the weather become so unpredictable that a nationally televised Run for the Dandelions has limited chances of attracting any following.
Might be just as well: A-E’s struggling to write a memorable tune for the race. Somehow My Greater Jasper Home just doesn’t have the same flair as what the folks in Louisville can offer. Maybe Give My Regards to Jasper. Or Canisteo, where the Wind Comes Whippin’ Down the Plain.
Not all Irish eyes are smiling at tinkering with ‘taters
When it comes to genetically-modified potatoes, residents of the Emerald Isle are sensitive to any changes to the long-time staple of the Irish diet. Dr. Ewen Mullins is the face of modern Ireland. The Washington Post says: “The young, cosmopolitan, highly educated plant scientist works on a genetically modified potato that looks back to one of Ireland’s darkest chapters, the Great Famine of the 1840s. From his laboratory and greenhouse in a research farm outside Carlow, Mullins deals daily with a disease that still haunts his native land: the fungus that causes the insidious rot still thrives in Ireland’s wet, cold climate.
"The disease has become more damaging in the past five years as new, highly aggressive strains arrive. Unchecked, blight can destroy entire crops in just days,” the Post explained.
Not everyone is happy with Mullins’ work: Genetic engineering remains controversial in Europe. Field trials are harming Ireland’s reputation for local, organic and artisanal food, said Kaethe Burt-O’Dea, a Dublin-based local-food activist. “Once you let genetic modification in, there’s no turning back,” she said.
Possible bureaucratic demotion of Canisteo River to creek
The Greater Jasper District Corps of Waterway Watchers is discussing potential reductions of the Canisteo River to rivulet status. An anonymous source inside the Corps who is unauthorized to speak with reporters said the discussion started because the channel has reduced flow from recent semi-drought conditions. “The river could have floated Noah’s Ark or the Queen Marie or at least Bubba Yoakum’s bass boat as recently as 1972,” the anonymous source said. “Since then infiltrated silt deposits have transformed the river that was navigable all the way to Arkport into a brook where ducks sometimes waddle on mid-stream islands.” Asked when the renaming might occur, the anonymous tipster said “As long as municipalities with fewer than 8,600 people call themselves cities, summer-dry creek beds will remain rivers.” Stay tuned to Dr. A-E’s column for breaking news about this significant issue.
Now the column headline may make sense
Sebastian Cane Herman arrived at 3:43 a.m. on Sunday, Fathers’ Day with six pounds and 15 ounces on his 19-inch frame. Granny Ann, A-E’s daughter, reports all’s well with Sebastian’s mommy Jessica and with him. He was the first baby born on Fathers’ Day in the Rochester area so the Democrat and Chronicle is supposed to publish a brief article.
Historical note: A-E’s first job after college was as police-beat reporter for that newspaper.
A-E writes a weakly column, sometimes about his great- grand sons from a small room in his Canisteo hut.