Flash: Hillary Clinton courts conservative Republicans by publicizing the following stories:

Hillary brags about paying no federal income taxes and refuses to make her tax returns public.

Hillary claims "I was against going into the war in Iraq" although tapes prove the opposite.

Hillary says she never met Mayor Michael Bloomberg despite photos of the two playing golf.

Hillary claims to be a billionaire, but provides no proof.

Hillary stiffs the men who painted her house and the plumbers who plunged her toilets.

Hillary dodged the draft during the Vietnam War, then says that avoiding venereal disease was her "personal Vietnam."

Hillary babbles about Rosie O'Donnell during a presidential debate.

Hillary interrupts her opponent during a debate 51 times.

Hillary, divorced three times, brags about her sexual exploits on talk radio.

Hillary declared bankruptcy six times, then describes herself as a "great businesswoman."

Hillary calls climate change a hoax instigated by the Chinese.

Hillary alleges that President Obama is ineligible to be president because "he was not born in this country."

Hillary says: "The biggest mistake I made during this campaign is that I was too honest."

Hillary vows to tighten libel laws to prevent reporters from criticizing her.

Hilary, based on zero evidence, links the father of one of her opponents to the assassination of JFK.

Hillary ridicules a former Miss Universe for a "massive" weight gain of 12 pounds.

Hillary gets the endorsement of KKK chief David Duke.

Hillary is the founder of a fake university.

Hillary thinks that a nuclear "first strike" is the same as "first use" of nukes (look it up!).

Hillary falls in love with Russia's President Vladimir Putin.

And Hillary insists that she is qualified to be president of the United States.

Gary Ostrower teaches history at Alfred University and served as the Republican mayor of the Village of Alfred.