And rude neighbor Bill finally goes too far ...

Everything you’ve read about Parkinson’s is true: The incurable progressive debilitating disease that affects up to one million people in the United States is terrible. In March, the Parkinson’s and Michael J. Fox foundations convened in Washington, D.C. More than 300 advocates from across the United States, along with leading experts in Parkinson’s research, public policy and advocacy, discussed the horrible disease at the Parkinson’s Policy Forum

A-E has the disease and wants to help educate members of Congress about the need for increased research funding for federal programs and agencies.

Age is the greatest risk factor for Parkinson’s. A-E was 72 when he was diagnosed with the disease. As the population grows older, the need for new and improved treatments will become even more urgent.

Lawmakers need to increase federal investments in medical research, as well as support policies that preserve and expand access to care.

A-E is guilty of using this space and your time to advocate for scientific discovery that can lead to new treatments and cures. Yes, that’s selfish but too many of A-E’s neighbors have the disease and as we all age, too many more will be affected.

That’s really a long-winded introduction to someone who also has the disease and is working to help researchers find that elusive cure. Here’s a snippet from her letter: “I’m Mary Killian from Louisville, Ky. I have Parkinson’s disease (PD), and I’m writing to let you know how important it is to reach out to your members of Congress today. Hundreds of people with PD and their loved ones have asked members of Congress to increase federal funding for Parkinson’s research. I’ve participated in the Forum in the past, but this year I’m undergoing deep brain stimulation surgery and I’m unable to travel to the event. Although I couldn’t be there in person, I know I can make a difference by taking action from home. (Or, in my case, my recovery bed!)

“To make the largest impact in Washington, we need to make our lawmakers’ computers buzz with incoming emails. My husband and I sent messages to our elected officials, as did our children, friends and other family members. Getting in touch with your legislators is easy and it only takes a minute. They need to hear from you so they know what your priorities are as their constituent.

“In recent years, we’ve seen incredible progress in PD research, but there still is an urgent need for improved therapies and a cure.”

Thank you for helping Mary and me educate our Senators and Representative in Congress to continue investing in research in order to get new treatments to the people who need them.

A-E’s vengeance upon Classmate Pat

Classmate-Canadaphobe-correspondent Pat berated A-E for attempting in his truck to play Canadian Gordon Lightfoot’s tapes, hum O Canada and discuss hockey.

A-E will drive to the Richard-Pat-A-E mini-reunion later this month. A-E pledges to play endlessly “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” plus sing “O Canada” and “Marie she was a chambermaid on a lumber barge on the Grand Lachine Canal” coming and going to Rochester.

What’s soccer?

From Classmate Pat: “Hate to say it, Richard, but mention soccer to average Greater Jasper Joes or Josephines and their minds conjure images of hairy-legged guys with weird haircuts and unpronounceable names running around for no meaningful purpose.” Richard’s an award-winning soccer coach whose multiple youth teams enjoy the physical and team-building exercise.

Rude neighbor Bill

Willie’s three months older than A-E. That gives him the right, he feels, to pick on his favorite neighborhood humor columnist. So Geezer Bill maliciously gave A-E a “bald man’s comb.” The packaging describes the toothless device “as the perfect gift for the man who has everything …except hair.”

Here’s A-E’s rude attempt to get even: Geezer Bill and A-E are the oldest residents on our block.

Finally, this drivelmeister’s columns from Canisteo are all cholesterol-free.